The Cicadas are Coming!
Are you looking for a little Monica in your life? Does Chinese food make you sick? No need to rub Christina Aguilera the right way or save tonight. Just believe in life after love to party like it’s 1999! Ah, 1999! When this look…
or this one...
reigned supreme. While you were probably worried about feeding your tamagotchi or the Y2K computer bugs, another bug was making it’s above-ground debut.
Cicadas. These creepy crawlers started livin' la vida loca in 1999 and will make their 21st century entrance in the coming months. Like their buds from Brood, or crew, II (next up in 2030) and Brood X (next up in 2021) this particular brand of eerie bug, Brood V, pop out of the ground every 17 years. But unlike the other crews, these guys and gals have a smaller hood and say whaddup to Maryland (not DC), New York (probably not NYC), Virginia, and West Virginia.
Part of the grasshopper family, cicadas are usually around an inch and a half long with red eyes and dark bodies. In spring when the weather is right, 64°F (18°C) with light showers, adults come up from the ground with mating on their mind for the rest of their lives, or 4 to 6 weeks later. The male cicadas make that infamous noise, their equivalent to a “Netflix & chill” text. After "chillin," female cicadas make cuts into twigs where they lay 24-28 eggs that hatch 6 weeks later. The baby zombie insects fall from the tree and burrow into the ground where they wait 17 years, get really into playing guitar, remove their braces, and emerge from the ground to start the procreation process all over.
While they sound terrifying and litter their casings everywhere, they are harmless to people, although your damaged trees (oak, apple, hickory, dogwood are their trees of choice) and your bellyaching (literally) dog might not think so.
So, who knows? The next time these dudes come out of the ground, President Paul Rudd could institute a hoverboard dance party day to celebrate the cicadas.
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